Leaving the Hospital

I left the hospital this morning for a brief period to take David to work. I did it with out any problem because I figured that it was no longer of a period to be gone than the walk to my dorm room.

At around 1:30 PM this afternoon, Anna settled in well after her second feeding. My Mom and I walked to the front door and as I hugged my Mom and thanked her for stepping in and taking care of the older girls, I headed towards the car. As I left this afternoon, things were different. I was going home, the home that eventually Anna will call her own.

I walked down the long path towards the car. Although only a short walk, I felt like it took me 10 minutes to get there. It was really quiet and the farther away I got from the hospital, the more my heart began to ache, but then I listened. The birds were chirping and it sounded like Anna's cry, a car muffler was sounding and it reminded me of Anna's grumbling belly, 2 men running, passed me and I thought of Anna's beating heart. As I set in the car, the windshield wipers were on and they remembered me of Anna's independently breathing rhythmic respirations. I think for a moment that I should turn around and return to her side, then I look down at my wrist and see the band that has been on my arm since her birth. It matches hers. Even though I am pulling away from the hospital, I am not letting go of my little girl and am just starting my new journey of taking care of 3 little girls, all of whom I adore. Today is not the day I bring Anna home but today is the day that I feel assured that Baby Anna is in the hands of the nurse's at the NICU and she will be fine. Just a little more time to heal and my little Angel will be home with us.

Jessica