The Walk

Every time I leave the room to go the the nursery it is the same walk. 10 steps, turn right, 5 steps, slight right, 5 more steps, slight right, 42 steps straight, turn left at the labor and delivery nurse's station, 26 steps, turn left, 15 steps and then you are in front of the Special Care Nursery door. Scrub in. Ring the doorbell. Wait. They open the door. Turn right and proceed to Anna's area. This is the walk I make so many times each day. It seems to get shorter every day and I do not know if that is a good or bad thing. I do know that every time I have the same feelings. What will the news be when we arrive. Has there been any decline? What changes are they making? Is she still with us? All of these thoughts go through your head. I have gotten pretty good at the routine to know when certain test are going to be taken and try to be there when she is turned and assessed. When I leave the walk back is the same just different thoughts. Sometimes I come away overwhelmed and scared and sometimes I am optimistic and dream of what positive news the next visit will bring.

As of late Sunday evening Anna is still stable and making small improvements. They are going to continue to monitor and test her levels every 4 hours and make changes as necessary over night. Tomorrow morning she will be seen by the Dr and Nurse Practitioner and they will establish the plan for the day.

Jessica