It seems that Anna and I are spending another night together in the hospital. She had a stable day but is still not taking (and keeping enough) formula down to go home. The doctor seems to believe that her reflux has just gotten worse over the past week and her inability to keep her food down has caused her to lose weight. When you only weigh 10 pounds you can not afford to lose much weight before they get concerned. Today they have changed her medications and are trying to make her comfortable. Her feedings are made with pedialyte. ½ the amount of formula normally used and are thickened with rice cereal to help to get them to stay down. Anyone who has had stomach acid issues would know the discomfort that she feels. It is like vicious cycle where she screams because she is hungry and them screams because she is uncomfortable and then eventually she loses the nourishment that she has taken. She has been more comfortable today and has for short periods of time laid in the crib by herself and slept for longer periods of time.
David and I did get the opportunity to get some dinner together. I had basically spent the last 32 hours straight holding Anna. My sister-in-law Janice was generous to come and stay with her for an hour so we could have a meal. It was a quick meal and I was very nervous. When we got back, Janice and Anna had many adventures to tell. Janice was blessed with some of Anna’s vomit and Anna was in one of her very uncomfortable periods. The nurses were trying to be helpful but Anna was just not happy. Janice looked at me and said “I do not know how you do it”. I told her that it is not a matter of how and a matter of have to. Someone has to be able to take care of her even when she is sick and irritable. The one thing that Anna has taught me is to be patient.
This evening I am thinking about all of my girls. As I lay here with Anna asleep on my chest, I know I need to be here for her but I am longing for a hug from Lissie and Jill. I am hopeful that tomorrow we will have some good news with this new medication combination and that we can return home as a family.
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2 comments:
I've put Anna on the prayer list at our church. I hope you and all of your girls are back together at home tomorrow.
I hope you don't mind me posting to you. I have read all you blogs about you journey with Anna. By the way a beautiful name. I cried because I was there myself in July. So many events and feelings were so alike. Mind you put it into words so deep. It is still so tender. The thing that jumps out to me is that we have a lot in common. I am a Catholic (I assuming you are too with the rosary and baptism), we have 4 children 3 girls and our baby boy, our husbands are very strong men and I am in my 30's. Our little one was in 2 different hospitals in Ottawa. But it's Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.
What struck a cord with me is that you stated your priest shared with you HOPE. It was funny to read because our priest had HOPE and JOY in his homily at Christmas. Believe in Hope. It is very powerful and will carry you though this time with strength,joy and love. Use prayer as an outlet to stay pure in thought and give you the power to continue on daily living with your whole family. Prayer works miracles. We both know and believe it.
I send Anna, you and your family hope and blessing via my prayers.
Thanks again for sharing your story.
Anne-Marie from facebook.
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